Harry Potter and the Red Dawn
by Kasek
Summary: Someone from within the Ministry of Magic knows that those at the Triwizard Tournament need to be protected- and has hired Akatsuki to do the job. The problem? They need to fit in as regular students in order to do so.
1. Chapter 1

**Kasek: **Well…. My laptop with all my stories broke, and I'm having a bit of writer's block in respect to my current stories. I really wish I could complete one story for once.

Anyways, as a crossover author, I need to write my obligatory Harry Potter crossover. As per my custom, I'm deciding to take a rather different approach from the norm, in this case "Naruto goes to Hogwarts" or "Young Kakashi goes to Hogwarts"….

Anyways, this is pretty much for humor- don't be expecting a serious story.

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Especially not a working laptop.**

Deidara looked horrified. "You want us to do WHAT?!"

Sasori cast his partner a venomous glance. "Have you forgotten who you're talking to?"

The holographic image of their leader, Pein, stood before them- not that the pair of artistic assassins knew his name, as the Akatsuki knew only to call him 'Leader-sama'. The image closed its eyes. "You are a mercenary. It is your job to do whatever you are paid to do, is it not?"

Deidara nodded in defeat. "Yeah, but… infiltrating a school? As students? What's that about, un?"

Pein opened his eyes, the concentric circles within creeping Deidara out. "A government known as the 'Ministry of Magic' has hired you to protect the students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Deidara nodded. "Yeah, could you explain that part, un? About the witchcraft and the wizardry?"

Pein would've rubbed his forehead if he hadn't known that it would show through the transmission. "Just as ninjutsu and genjutsu are one application of chakra, so is magic. It is performed differently than our jutsu, and thus has different properties. The people who use these spells are even more secretive than shinobi- they prefer to keep all those unable to use magic in the dark about the existence of magic."

Deidara nodded. "And… why do we need to pretend to be students, un? Couldn't we be just as effective as just ourselves?"

Pein's eyes looked the pair up and down, stopping on Deidara's hands for a moment. "I'm sure I don't have to be the one to mention the effects your physical appearance may have on those not used to the…. unnatural. As a bonus, this will give you the chance to learn how to use magic. You may just find a spell or two that would be useful to you in the future."

Deidara snorted. "My art is as useful to me as anything CAN be, un!"

There was a growl from Sasori. "Stop interrupting Leader-sama. The faster we get through this, the better."

Pein nodded. "You will be posing as Japanese who moved to England- you may disguise yourselves with whatever appearance you wish, but it would be best to retain a personality similar to the one you already carry. Also, you must appear to be of 14 years of age- that is the age of those regarded as your highest priority on this mission."

Deidara groaned. "Great… as if having to deal with snot-nosed brats wasn't bad enough, we have to pretend to be one of them, too, un…"

Sasori spoke up again. "Will we be acting alone on this mission, Leader-sama?"

Pein glanced at the hunch-backed figure. "Actually, no. The Ministry was willing to pay us quite a lot for this mission, so I've decided to send Itachi, Konan, and Tobi with you."

Deidara's look of horror resumed itself onto his face. "As if Itachi wasn't bad enough, Tobi too?! He isn't even a part of Akatsuki, un!"

Pein glared at Deidara. "Tobi is a loyal follower of our cause. Even if he is not a part of the core ten members, he is a part of Akatsuki, and you will consider him as such during this mission. Am I clear?"

Deidara gulped. "H-hai, Leader-sama…"

Pein resumed his speech. "You are to be touching the cloth behind me in one minute, so that the magic on it may transport you to Diagon Alley. There, you will meet Itachi, Tobi, and Konan, and you will also meet a giant named Hagrid, who will help you gather the materials you need. Make sure to disguise yourselves, first."

The image of Pein disappeared, revealing a piece of an Akatsuki cloak behind where it had 'stood'. Deidara immediately used a henge justsu to disguise himself as a fourteen year old version of himself, in jeans and a t-shirt, and lacking the mouths on his hands, as well as the device covering his left eye.

In the time that Deidara had been transforming, Sasori managed to seal away Hiruko, and henge his current body into that of a young boy, fast enough that Deidara could not see anything but the end result- a red-headed fourteen-year old with standard Suna clothing.

Deidara smirked at Sasori's appearance. "What? Is that form supposed to be cute or something? I'M the one who has the looks here!"

Sasori's face expressed no emotion, but there was a smugness in his voice. "You'd be cute if you were a girl. As a guy, you look hideous. You would be wise to switch your gender."

Deidara snorted. "Look who's talking, bishie-wannabe." He grabbed the cloth, and Sasori did likewise. A few moments later, Deidara had a tough time keeping his lunch in, while Sasori was using his strength preventing his body parts from flying everywhere, as it seemed like they were being pulled through a tear in the fabric of space-time. After what seemed an eternity to Deidara, they landed on a cold, hard street- and not with their feet, either.

Getting up, Deidara saw who he deemed to be Itachi, Konan, and Tobi standing there, looking over them. Surprisingly, they had not taken any real creative liberties with their appearances- Itachi and Konan seemed to be but younger versions of themselves, while Tobi was a boy with spiky black hair and one, black eye. His left eye was covered with an orange eyepatch, pirate-style.

Deidara then noticed the giant of a man standing with them. He was gigantic in height, girth, and beard- Deidara couldn't help but wonder how many kunai one could hide on one's self at that size. The man beamed. "And that's the last two, eh? So, then, that makes five of you, then- Itachi, Konan, Obito, and, uh… what're your names again?"

Sasori looked up at the large man, noting that he would make quite the addition to his puppet collection. He decided to go with the flow- if the others were not concealing their names, then they would not, either. "My name is Sasori, and this girl is Deidara."

Deidara growled. "I'm a boy!"

'Obito' snickered. "Suuuuure you are, Deidara-chaaaaaan!"

Deidara's eyebrow twitched. "'Obito'… say that again, and you will find that dying is NOT the worst fate that can befall a man…"

Obito cringed mockingly- but it was convincing enough for Deidara to believe that he was in control. "H-hai, Deidara-sempai."

Hagrid grinned behind his beard- these five were a lively lot. They would certainly spice things up at Hogwarts, that was for sure. However, he wondered why they had transferred schools when their families had moved- the schools were all boarding schools, and it wasn't like it was hard to travel from one place to another- there was always Floo powder, and Apparation. He also found it suspicious that five families- sorry, four, Itachi and Obito were cousins- would move like that. however, who was he to question it? It's not like they were Death Eaters or anything like that.

--

**Kasek:** Let me know what you think of this. I plan on updating sporadically, as I REALLY need to work on my other stories, but this seems like a good way to get out of my writer's block. And reviews really help, even if they carry criticisms.

Oh, and for those new to me- NO YAOI/YURI. Probably not even going to have pairings- 'too troublesome'. You can make a good story without romance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Kasek:** As I said before, this is just for me when I get bored. So, yeah, I got bored. Working on Harry Potter fics tends to fix that, apparently, due to the research involved with every little detail.

**Disclaimer: I own_ nothing_**

Deidara grinned as he was handed another one of those twigs. A swish, a flick, and the window behind him shattered into pieces. Ah, now this was art! The man who was the proprietor of the store frowned, muttered something to himself, took the wand away from Deidara, and moved into the back of the store, searching for another one. While he went to search, Deidara began a conversation with 'Obito', as Hagrid had gone to buy their textbooks, and Deidara doubted that they'd get time to themselves for a while yet. "Hey, how come you changed your name, un? The others didn't."

'Obito', otherwise known as Tobi, frowned. "Turns out that Tobi's a name that these English people use a lot... for their dogs. So I switched it for something that'd be harder to pronounce."

Deidara nodded. That... definitely sounded like something Tobi'd do. "And your family name?"

Tobi faltered in his confidence. "W-well, Itachi helped me come up with 'Obito', so I decided to be an Uchiha, too!"

Deidara gave him a blank stare. "You _do_ realize that Itachi killed all the other Uchiha, right?"

Tobi paled, but he couldn't say anything in retort, as the old man- Ollivander- had come back with another wand. This one was in a box that was... different, from the others. A big 'B' was on the top, along with an exclamation point. "Try this one... I doubt it will work, but..."

Deidara took the wand in hand and swished it. He felt a rush of energy, the same rush he got whenever one of his masterpieces became true art. He grinned- this must be what the old man meant when he said that he'd 'know' when the right wand was in his hand. Ollivander smiled. "Ah, I remember making this one. Nine inches, fir tree, with a piece of Erumpent horn. Now, I don't normally deal in high-class materials, but the person who sold the horn to me assured me that it wasn't going to explode, so..."

Deidara's eyes sparkled with interest. "Explode?"

Ollivander smiled. "Yes, explode. Erumpent horns carry a fluid that causes anything the horn pierces to explode, but the fluid was drained from that horn before it was fragmented."

Deidara was slightly disappointed, but accepted the wand nonetheless, and began wondering how many things had exploded due to this particular horn.

Sasori walked up next, and stared expressionlessly at the old man, with his hand held out for a wand. Ollivander quickly went through several wands, but each resulted in failure- some Deidara found amusing, such as when the book Itachi was reading blew up in his face, and others... not so much.

Eventually, bearing a big grin on his face, Ollivander went back to his shelves, muttering about 'challenging foreigner kids', and brought forth yet another wand box. However, even though there was nothing... remarkable, about the box, the ninja could feel the aura of death on the box. Sasori opened it up, removed the wand, and gave it a flick. The surge of energy running through his... well, heart reminded him of the near-joy he felt whenever he coated Hiruko's tail in poison. Ollivander smiled. "There we go, thirteen inch, wood from a tree of heaven, with, well, I don't know if you'll believe me, with a core consisting of a part of a Manticore's stinger. Poison excluded, of course, don't want students killing each other, now, do we?"

Sasori took interest in the subject. "Manticore?"

Ollivander nodded. "Terrible, yet sentient beasts with human heads, lion's bodies and scorpion's tails. Their stings are instantly fatal- even if you survive the stinging the poison is some of the most powerful in the world."

A glimmer of a smile made it onto Sasori's lips. He'd have to look up these Manticores later- his poison was certainly fatal, but his opponents lived for three days if he didn't kill them directly.

Next was Konan, who had been making origami the whole time, and had pretty much been ignoring the proceedings. It didn't take as long to find a wand this time- after only one mishap (involving Tobi's pants falling down), Konan was handed the 'right' wand. She couldn't quite describe the feeling she got from the wand, but it was... soothing, if a bit sad.

Ollivander sighed in disappointment- he hadn't gotten much of a challenge out of finding a wand for her. "Nine inch, wood from a cherry tree in full bloom, and an Augurey feather." Konan looked at Ollivander inquisitively, and he sighed- his thoughts being 'kids these days ought to study up on magical creatures more often'. "An Augurey, or Irish Phoenix, is a bird whose mournful cry is said to predict death. In reality, it just predicts the rain. Its feathers can repel ink, you know."

She gave a slight smile, a quiet 'thank you', and went back to her place with her back against the wall, tapping her origami bird with the wand- possibly trying to see if she could enchant it to come to life through sheer force of will. Sadly, it did not work- she did not know the words for such a spell. She would have to research it later- if no such spell existed (which she doubted), she could always amaze people with the origami created with her jutsu.

Itachi stepped forward for his own wand. Ollivander, slightly put off by Itachi's aura, began sorting through various wands. Fang of Runespoor, dragon heartstrings- nothing seemed to work. Finally, Ollivander brought out a wand he did not think would work, but tried it anyways. Surprisingly enough, when Itachi grabbed it he felt... pleased. Warm, even, like in the old days, before that fateful night where the Uchiha's numbers were reduced to three. Ollivander smiled. "Well I'll be... phoenix feather. You're one of the few people I've ever sold one of those to."

Itachi examined the wand itself. "You forgot to say, 'Ten inch, European Rowan'."

Ollivander laughed. "Oh, you have good eyes, there. You know, the tree this came from was one of the very rare 'flying rowans'. A tree, that had grown on top of another tree. Considered very good material for magical protection."

Itachi gave a slight smile. "Thank you. Such a wand must surely be expensive...?"

Ollivander waved it off. "I charge a flat rate for all my wands. So what if some of them were more expensive to make than others? The wand chooses the wizard, I can't charge people more money because the wand that chose them is worth more."

Itachi nodded, said his thanks, and returned to looking out the window, staring at the passerby, though now he was fingering his wand. It felt... very warm. The heart-melting kind of warm. Perhaps there was much more to this mission then they had originally thought? After all, magic was not something indulged in by shinobi, though they were apparently all more than capable of it. Magic seemed to run on emotions- if so, then that in and of itself was the reason, as shinobi were not meant to have emotions... though, as human beings, this was a paradox.

It was finally Tobi's turn to receive his wand, and he stepped up to the plate with enthusiasm. The first wand that was handed to him was a complete and utter failure- a windstorm blew through the shop, knocking over a few shelves. The second wand had caused Sasori and Konan to catch on fire, though the fires were put out as quickly as they started. The third wand was a success, though. Tobi felt the power rush through his veins... power the likes of he had not felt for the longest time. To Ollivander, his smile almost appeared as a sinister grin, though when he blinked, it was gone. Tobi grinned at the old shopkeeper. "Thanks a lot!"

Ollivander smiled in return. "You're more than welcome. Eleven inches, yew, with dragon heartstrings. Hungarian Horntail, I believe."

As Tobi walked back to his companions, Ollivander sighed in relief. He was _finally_ rid of that wand. He never liked it- ever since Voldemort had risen to power, he had stopped using yew wood to make wands, as Voldemort's was made from the same wood. It was a silly superstition, but one he maintained anyways. This wand was his last yew wand, and the fact that the core was of the most vicious dragon species in the world did not ease the feeling in his stomach whenever he saw it. Of course, this only gave him an even worse feeling about the person that such a wand chose for its master.

As Hagrid took out the money he had been given to pay for their materials, he whispered to Ollivander in a voice that he assumed was too quiet for his charges to hear, but still loud enough to convey his emotions. "Erumpent horn? Manticore tail? Hungarian Horntail heartstrings?"

Ollivander chuckled. "Some wands I made just for the sake of seeing that the wands would actually work. I'm glad that they do, because I was starting to think that there may be some wands that were never meant to be made."

Hagrid smiled. "I see..." He handed many coins to the old shopkeeper. "This ought t'be 'bout right..."

Ollivander didn't need to count the coins- being in business for as long as he had had its advantages. "It is. You mind telling me why they're just getting wands at their age?"

Hagrid looked back at his charges, all of them seemingly entranced with their wands, and again whispered to Ollivander. "I dunno if it's true or not, but... I hear they're from some place that promotes wandless magic over any other kind. I guess they're trying to make the kids smarter or somethin'."

Ollivander raised an eyebrow. "Well, it seems to have worked on that one boy with the rowan wand. He could tell its length and type just by looking at it!"

Hagrid smiled underneath his large beard. "Well, we're off to see the animals. See ya, Ollivander."

Tobi grinned. "Animals? We get pets? What kinds?"

Hagrid stroked his beard. "Well, you can get... owls, toads, and cats, for sure. If you ask, they'll let you have something else, but it doesn't mean they'll let you."

Itachi spoke up, though he was still absentmindedly staring at his wand. "I'll have to see about getting a raven, then..."

Sasori frowned. "I have no use for such a thing..."

Deidara put his hand to his chin in thought. "Maybe I'll get an owl... I might design some models based on it, un."

Konan shook her head. "I... don't mix well with animals."

Tobi seemed to put some thought into his choice. 'Seemed to' being the key words. "Hmm... how about... oh, can I get a pet dragon?"

Deidara bopped him over the head. "Are you crazy? Dragons aren't small enough for that kind of thing, un!"

Hagrid chuckled, which seemed much more than it was with his big voice. "I tried to raise one of them once. Trust me, they're not tamable."

As Hagrid left the door, Tobi snarled. "We'll see about that..." He then noticed that everyone else was gone, too. "Hey, wait a sec! Wait for me!"

**Kasek:** ...so, yeah, apparently Ollivander deals on the black market.

In other news, please don't yell at me for using cliches. This is just for humor, after all.


End file.
